Girlfriend

It took a while for me to relax, and girlfriend was patient with me. Eventually we settled into a nice and active sexual relationship.  I would later wonder why her.  In the previous couple years, I had gotten to first base with a few girls and one or two of them might have been sexier than girlfriend.  As George Costanza said – “if you compress my whole life into two weeks it looks pretty good”.   Why had I backed off pursuing something in one of those opportunities?  Why did I not back off here?  I think my subconscious considers how a girl will be received by my family.  This shouldn’t matter, but I knew after a lifetime of bringing exactly no-one home that I couldn’t roll out just anyone. 

Going home with me would be like walking into an episode of the Gilmore Girls with Loralei and Rory .  Not just anyone could handle the fast paced witty banter of my over-educated relatives.  I needed someone who could handle that environment.  Someone who could carry my weight when the conservation turned to 17th century Art History so I could slip out and go get a beer.  Evidently this quality carried some weight in my subconscious mind over my conscious desire to find a hot girl at the trailer park and cover her nubile body entirely in whipped cream and unleash my oral fixation by licking every bit off.   

 So now I showed up places with girlfriend.   At my social pinnacle, a friend and co-worker threw a party that consisted of reserving an entire bar.  I showed up there with girlfriend nice and late.  Walking into a crowded bar with a girl where I knew literally everybody in the bar and they all wanted to talk to me and I wanted to talk to them.  The new dynamic was nice, but I noticed that it also lacked the chance for being struck by lightning.  Exactly twice in my life, when standing around with buddies holding a drink and wishing I could meet someone, a young pretty girl asked me to dance for whatever reason – I certainly wasn’t the best looking, maybe I looked least threatening, I don’t know.  A small but electrifying gesture on their part that I would not forget. Of course lightning strikes are unbelievably rare but when it does it feels really good to be energized like that.  The weather was always sunny and nice now.  Very nice.  I noticed.

 

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Posted on October 10, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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